


always right beside me (discontinued)

by All_Hail_Queen_Freddie



Series: to be here with you [1]
Category: High School Musical: The Musical: The Series (TV)
Genre: Angst, Asexual Nini Salazar-Roberts, Bad Parenting, Biphobia, Biromantic Asexual Ashlyn Caswell, Bisexual Ricky Bowen (HSM: The Series), Coming Out, E.J. comforts Ricky, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Feel-good, Fluff, Gay E.J. Caswell, HSM:TM:TS without most of the drama, Homophobia, M/M, Minor Big Red/Ashlyn Caswell, Nini is over Ricky, Ricky Bowen Needs A Hug (HSM: The Series), Sad Ricky Bowen (HSM: The Series), Smut, Underage Sex, except they're never really enemies, like a whole chapter of it, no beta we die like men, sort of a slow burn, the events are basically the same but it's more gay, they become besties
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:40:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22250446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/All_Hail_Queen_Freddie/pseuds/All_Hail_Queen_Freddie
Summary: Everything's the same, but E.J.'s gay.orE.J. has always been gay, Ricky just realized he's bi, and parents are not always accepting.
Relationships: Ashlyn Caswell & E.J. Caswell, Big Red & Ricky Bowen (HSM: The Series), Big Red/Ashlyn Caswell, E.J. Caswell & Nini Salazar-Roberts, Gina Porter & Nini Salazar-Roberts, Ricky Bowen & Gina Porter, Ricky Bowen & Nini Salazar-Roberts, Ricky Bowen/E.J. Caswell, Seb Matthew-Smith/Carlos Rodriguez
Series: to be here with you [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1606150
Comments: 22
Kudos: 146





	1. Kill Me Now

**Author's Note:**

> I gave in and started writing for my favorite HSMTMTS ship. I love all the canon ships, but RJ has the best fanfic potential (also i'll be giving Seblos more moments together).
> 
> The title is obviously from What I've Been Looking For. Most chapters will be named after an episode of Gilmore Girls because I love that show and because I wanted to include some obscure references. There are a few named after episodes of other shows, like The Bold Type, Shameless, and Golden Girls.
> 
> Each chapter will have a song, and for this one it's Chemistry by Asher Angel

EJ was sure of exactly two things. One, he was gay. Two, Ricky Bowen was going to be the death of him. Ricky had just jogged into the auditorium like Troy fucking Bolton and sang like a goddamn angel, and EJ was angry about it. He had to sit there and listen and try not to look too into the performance, but he knew he was already falling for a junior who he’d never even talked to before. And he most likely wouldn’t. Because he was supposed to be straight. He was supposed to be with Nini.

As soon as auditions were over, EJ rushed across the stage to his cousin. “Ashlyn, can I talk to you?” His eyes were wide with what looked like fear and shock.

Ashlyn looked up at EJ in confusion. Something must have been wrong for her cousin to be so upset. “Yeah, are you alright?”

“Not really. I have a problem.”

Ashlyn frowned. “Is this a ‘talk in private’ problem?”

EJ nodded, his hands shaking a little. Ashlyn stood up from her seat on the stage and walked down the stairs with him to a pair of seats in the middle of the theatre.

“What’s going on?”

“I can’t tell Nini this, and neither can you,” Ashlyn made a crossing gesture over her chest in response, “but I think I like her ex.”

Ashlyn’s eyes went wide. “Ricky? You like Ricky Bowen? How do you know? Have you ever talked to him before?”

“No, but he’s so pretty, and his voice is gorgeous. Ash, this is bad. I can’t like Ricky because there has to be solidarity between me and Nini. She trusts me and I trust her, and I’m not gonna ruin her life by telling her I think her ex has a really nice ass.”

With a small chuckle, Ashlyn shook her head. “EJ, she’s over him. It wouldn’t ruin her life. And she’s your best friend! You should be telling her these things.”

“But what if she’s not over him? I don’t want to ruin that either.”

“EJ.”

“What?” He gulped and his eyes frantically searched the area for anyone who could be listening.

“She’s your best friend. You can tell her.”

EJ nodded slowly but he didn’t look convinced.

“Fine. Don’t tell her. But don’t just try to keep this inside.”

“I’m not keeping it inside,” he countered. “I just told you.”

Ashlyn rolled her eyes, but she was smiling so EJ knew she wasn’t that frustrated with him. “You know what I mean. Now go act like your fake girlfriend is your actual girlfriend.”

EJ rolled his eyes but had a hint of a smile on his lips. As he turned around to look for said fake girlfriend, she walked up behind him.

“Hey, babe.” Nini winked up at EJ and tucked herself into his side. He could immediately tell something was up, but he didn’t say anything until Ashlyn had left the two alone.

“What’s wrong?”

Nini furrowed her eyebrows and looked down at her shoes. “Nothing, I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not. Nini. Tell me what’s up. Or I will not hesitate to throw you over my shoulder.”

She glared up at him like she was trying to be threatening. “You wouldn’t dare.”

EJ raised one eyebrow and grabbed her sides. She immediately pulled away, already used to EJ doing that. They had spent practically every second together for a month, after all.

“How dare you?” Her glare grew stronger, but she couldn’t stop the smile that spread across her face.

The smirk on EJ’s face would have had anyone weak in the knees in seconds, but of course, it didn’t even phase Nini. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“You’re not going to let this go, are you?”

“When have you ever known me to let anything go?”

Nini heaved a heavy, over dramatic sigh and flopped down onto one of the seats in the theatre. “Fine. Sit.”

EJ obeyed and sat right next to her. He threw his legs over hers and leaned forward, ready for her to tell him everything like she always did.

“Ricky sang the song I wrote for him when I told him I loved him and he said “Okay” and then said we should take a break and I’m really upset about it because he doesn’t get to just come back and do that after he’s the one who ended things. And he doesn’t even think he ended things. He thinks a break isn’t a breakup, and even though I made sure he knew it was a breakup yesterday, he still came and auditioned for the role you’re supposed to get. And he auditioned because he wants me back, I guess, but I don’t understand why. If he couldn’t say “I love you” then, why is he saying it now? When I won’t say it anymore. And I don’t want to say it because I don’t love him anymore. He may love me, but I don’t feel the same way. And I tried to tell him that, but he doesn’t understand. He’s just a stupid boy.” Nini fell forward onto EJ’s thighs and finally took a full breath without jumping right back into rambling about Ricky. She crossed her arms over her head and made the weird growling/screaming sound she did when she was really upset.

“Nini?”

“Yeah?” she said in a small voice.

“You’re right. He doesn’t get to do that. And I’m not supposed to get the role, so that’s not even an issue.” EJ was touched that she cared that much about him getting a silly high school role.

“But it’s your senior year, and you said you wanted to get the lead in senior year.”

“There’s still the spring musical. And who says I won’t get it this time?”

“You probably will, but you said before that you didn’t have any competition, and you were right. But now there’s Ricky.”

“Right. Yeah, he’s definitely got talent. I thought you said he didn’t even like musicals?”

“He didn’t. I don’t know what changed.”

EJ sighed to himself and leaned back in his seat. He looked up at the stage and saw that Ricky was staring in their direction. The two of them locked eyes for a second, and that was enough for EJ to blush bright red. Ricky didn’t seem phased, but he looked away quickly.

It wasn’t like EJ could tell Nini how he felt now. She’d just ranted to him about Ricky, so confessing that he thought he was cute would not be the ideal reaction. He needed to be on Nini’s side, even if he kind of understood why Ricky was trying so hard to get her back. Nini was great, and he was sure she was a great girlfriend. But he really wanted Ricky to just give up so he could have a chance. Of course, he had no idea if Ricky was interested in guys, but maybe if he tried hard enough to make himself visible, he’d find out.

According to EJ, that process included wearing tank tops almost every day. He knew he was quite muscular, and people had been really attracted to that part of him in the past, so this could work. As sad as he was that he didn’t get the role of Troy for the musical, he would at least have some chances to talk to Ricky between their scenes together. He hoped to get to know him better and flex his muscles a little.

What he didn’t expect was the table read. Ms. Jenn hadn’t told them they’d have to read through the entire script together, which wouldn’t have been a problem, except that she made them all hold hands before they started. EJ started hyperventilating just a little when he had to hold hands with Ricky. His hands were so soft, but he clearly had calluses on them from playing guitar, which was really cool in EJ’s opinion. He tried to keep his hand as still as possible because he could feel his other hand shaking, and he didn’t want Ricky to think he was nervous in any way.

He was a little disappointed when Ricky released his hand pretty quickly. He knew it was more about the fact that he was “dating” Nini and Ricky was jealous of that, and it wasn’t really personal, but it still hurt.

“Why do you look like a kicked puppy?”

EJ was pulled from his thoughts by Nini, who had appeared right next to him. He could see that Ricky was watching them out of the corner of his eye, so he was careful with his response. “I just wish I was playing Troy so I’d have more scenes with you.”

Nini immediately understood and plastered on a fake smile. “It’ll be okay. We’ll still have the spring musical, and you’re guaranteed to get the lead then.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Well, you’re the best actor here.”

EJ grinned genuinely. He waited until Ricky had left the area before he said, “Thanks. Even if you didn’t mean it, it was still nice to hear.”

“I _did_ mean it. You’re a great actor, EJ.”

That brightened his mood significantly. He was doing pretty wonderfully for the rest of the day and the next morning, but his good mood was ruined when one of his teammates asked a question he wasn’t expecting.

“How come we never see you guys kiss?”

EJ and Nini both froze where they were standing. Nini stuttered out a reply. “W-we just don’t like PDA. We kiss all the time outside of school.” EJ had to stop himself from throwing up in his mouth. He definitely did not like the idea of kissing his best friend, especially because she was a girl.

“Oh, come on. We’ve never seen you kiss,” Emmett, EJ’s co-captain whined. He was visibly upset, and that grossed both of them out a little bit.

EJ gave Nini a look that said, We could just do it once and never speak of it again? And she responded with a reluctant smile.

The two of them kissed quickly and tried not to act too weirded out by it. It was especially hard for EJ because that was technically his first kiss. Nini was aware of that and hated that it had to be her. She wished he could have a first kiss like she did, with someone he actually had feelings for.

EJ’s friends deemed that kiss good enough and left them alone for the rest of the lunch period. Nini was left to think about how upset she still was with Ricky, and EJ was thinking about how he wished Ricky was the one he had to kiss.

And of course, Ricky was staring in their direction again, but for some reason, he wasn’t as focused on Nini anymore.


	2. Die, Jerk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song for this chapter is Girls/Girls/Boys by Panic! At The Disco.
> 
> I'm trying to update this fic as much as possible when I have the free time so that I don't keep you guys waiting too long during the week when I have homework.
> 
> I don't know if this is the only chapter where I'll switch pov's (still in third person though), but I haven't really tried this before so I hope you like it.
> 
> ALSO in case I didn't make it clear in the first chapter, Nini and EJ are in a fake relationship that both of them agreed to. It's mostly to keep EJ's friends from thinking he's gay because he's a theatre geek and that's a stereotype that most people believe is true.

**• E J •**

“You won’t believe what just happened.”

“What just happened?”

“Gina just gave me my phone back.”

EJ furrowed his eyebrows. “So she _did_ steal it?”

Nini nodded vigorously. “But I can’t even be mad at her because she apologized and told me she wanted to form a truce.”

“Also you’re you. You can’t be mad at people.”

“I resent that. I got mad at you when you basically poisoned the lead in the musical so I could play it.”

“But then you forgave me literally a day later.”

She frowned. “Fine, so I’ve never been mad at someone for very long. I can’t even stay mad at Ricky, apparently.”

EJ was suddenly extremely interested. “You aren’t mad at him anymore? What changed?”

“I just figured it’s not worth it. He can keep trying to get back together with me, but I don’t have any feelings for him anymore, so it’s never gonna happen. I was only mad because I’m tired of it, I guess.”

He nodded, agreeing with her reasoning. “That makes sense.” _Maybe I should tell her now. It’s the perfect opportunity._

“You okay? You look pretty deep in thought. Is something wrong?”

“No, I just…” he trailed off and started over. “I need to tell you something.”

Ms. Jenn interrupted them just as he was about to explain. “Alright, everyone! Break’s over. I need everyone back inside in the next thirty seconds.”

Nini turned to EJ and said, “Tell me later? After rehearsal?”

“Of course.”

The two of them made their way back inside the rehearsal space and were immediately greeted by an irritated Ricky Bowen. “We have to rehearse one of our scenes,” he said specifically to EJ.

“Oh, uh, which one?”

“I don’t know. Ms. Jenn just told me to find you so we could get started.” Ricky walked away right after that, so EJ shot Nini a worried look and followed him to the center of the rehearsal space.

“Both of you are here. That’s great.” Ms. Jenn clasped her hands together. “I need you to work an exercise for me before you start the scene. I’ve noticed there’s some strange tension between you two, and that can’t happen anymore. Chad and Troy have this amazing brotherly bond, which is sacred, for reasons I will never understand.

“I want you to compliment each other. You’ll pass,” she paused for a second and picked up a prop from the table next to her, “this basketball back and forth and try to build up each other’s confidence. Trust me, it worked years ago for me and a fellow actress. She was jealous of me, and this is how we worked through our issues.”

Ricky and EJ both rolled their eyes but agreed to do the exercise.

EJ had the ball first and chose to play it safe. “Ricky. You’re the best actor we’ve got. I’m so glad you auditioned.” Ricky shot him a weird angry look which just made EJ confused. It was a compliment, and he meant it. So what was Ricky’s deal?

“EJ. You dance totally normal for a high school kid.” Ricky’s voice was dripping with sarcasm.

Ouch. “If you keep applying yourself, you’ll get the lead next semester, too.”

Ricky threw the ball straight at EJ’s face. “And if you had tried harder, you would have gotten the role this semester.” And of course, EJ was taken aback by that comment and didn’t pay attention to the ball hurtling toward his face.

EJ stumbled backwards with the force of the hit and touched around his face to find that his lip was bleeding. He couldn’t feel it, so he guessed that it was numb, but he felt almost heartbroken that Ricky hated him that much. When he looked up, he could see that Ricky looked regretful, but at this point, he was just mad.

Ms. Jenn led him out to go get some ice from the nurse, so he did just that. The nurse didn’t ask too many questions, she just figured he’d been in the middle of a practice for some sport and wasn’t paying attention. Once he got the ice pack, he headed straight for the bathroom.

He practically ripped his shirt off and started to soak it in the sink. There wasn’t much blood on it, but he really wanted that shirt to stay white. He did his best to scrub it out and then cleaned up the blood on his lips. The ice pack stayed on the sink, unused, until he was done. Just as he was about to leave to find himself another shirt to wear for the rest of the day, Ricky walked in.

**• R I C K Y •**

Ricky felt horrible about hitting EJ. Sure, he was upset and jealous, but that was no reason to give him a split lip. He knew he had to apologize, and he wanted to, so after psyching himself up for a second, he made his way to the men’s bathroom.

Right as he walked in, he saw EJ. Shirtless EJ.

_Fuck._

He must have stood there for a few seconds just staring before he regained control of his thoughts and asked, “How’s the lip?” in a shaky voice. The look that EJ gave him in response could be considered murderous, and Ricky was uncomfortable with how much he liked that.

“All good,” EJ responded stiffly.

“Listen, it was an accident. I’m sorry. It got out of hand and I’m really sorry I hit you.”

“Really? What got out of hand? I was legitimately complimenting you and you kept making jabs at me. What the hell was that about?”

He didn’t have a good answer. “I don’t know. I’m sorry.” His reasoning was just jealousy.

“Stop apologizing and just leave, Ricky.” When he made no effort to move, EJ just sighed and shook his head. “Fine then. I’ll leave.”

EJ brushed right past Ricky, whose eyes had fixated on his muscles, and he stormed out of the bathroom, his wet shirt in hand. Once Ricky had processed the whole interaction, his eyes went wide and he had to lean against one of the sinks.

_Holy shit, I think EJ is attractive. What?_

**• E J •**

“Nini? Nini, are you still here?”

“EJ? I’m over here!”

He followed her voice to the other side of the rehearsal space where Nini was sitting on the floor with her legs crossed and a notebook open on her lap. “Hey, what are you up to?”

Without looking up, she replied. “Writing a new song. I had an idea at the end of rehearsal, and I needed to write it down. Where have you been? Ms. Jenn said there was an accident and Ricky looked guilty, but… holy shit!” Nini jumped up onto her feet and grabbed EJ’s face. She examined his lip for a second before releasing him. “What happened?”

“Ricky threw a basketball at my face.”

Nini’s facial expression turned into one of anger instead of shock. “What?” she said through her teeth. “Why would he do that?”

“He’s jealous of our relationship, and he apparently took it out on my best feature.”

She couldn’t help but laugh at that. “Right. Was it on purpose?”

“No, he says it was an accident. And he apologized.”

“Okay, so is it really that bad?”

“No, it’s just frustrating,” EJ whined like a little kid. He was still holding the ice pack to his face. “It didn’t even hurt that bad, honestly.”

“So why do you seem upset? Does it have to do with that thing you were going to tell me earlier?”

“A little bit.”

“What is it?”

He took a deep breath and went straight into it. “I have a crush on Ricky.”

Nini looked shocked for about six seconds but then she just nodded and crossed her arms. “I see it.”

“You see what?”

“It makes sense. You’re upset about Ricky hitting you with a basketball because you like him, and whether he did it on purpose or not, it still sucks. And he’s cute, so I get why you would like him. And who knows, maybe he likes you too?”

EJ furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “What? How are you okay with this? He’s your ex and friends aren’t supposed to like or date each other’s exes. It’s a rule.”

“Forget about the rule. It doesn’t really matter, anyway. If you like him, you should pursue it. And I can even help you out a little. You haven’t had a real crush on anyone since I’ve known you and I am very excited to play matchmaker.”

“But he still likes you. I doubt he’s even remotely interested in me because I’m basically his enemy. And I don’t think he’s bi.”

“He totally could be. I don’t have great gaydar, but I could ask my moms if you want.”

EJ had to stop himself from laughing out loud. “I don’t need you to ask them, but thanks. I’ll just try to become friends with him and we’ll see what happens.”

“Honestly, I don’t think he’ll be willing to become friends until we break up. We could do that if you want? It would probably need to be public, but it doesn’t have to be a bad breakup.”

He thought for a moment about a potential reason for them to break up but couldn’t come up with anything. “Maybe we could just get Ashlyn and Kourtney to spread the information? We could say it was amicable and not give details.”

“Yeah that’s a better idea.”

“When should we do it?”

Nini frowned. “It’s up to you. Just tell me whenever you’re ready to do it.”

EJ nodded once but looked like he had spaced out. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For all of this. For agreeing to be in a fake relationship, for not getting mad at me for liking your ex. All of it.”

“I don’t think I could ever be very mad at you, EJ.”

**• R I C K Y •**

Ricky came running into the lunch room the next day and slid into the seat next to Big Red, where he usually sat. “Red, I have to tell you something.”

“What’s going on?”

“I think I might like guys. And girls, still. But also guys.”

Big Red just shrugged. “Okay, cool. So, you’re bi? Or pan?”

“Bi, I think.”

“So who’s the guy you suddenly like?”

“I don’t know if I actually like him. I just find him attractive.”

“But he’s the first boy you’ve ever found attractive. Who is he?”

“EJ.”

“Holy shit.”


	3. Run Away, Little Boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's song is Like To Be You by Shawn Mendes and Julia Michaels.
> 
> In case you guys haven't noticed, this fic is part of a series. There will be at least two 22-chapter fics in the series, maybe three. So after these 22 chapters, it won't be completely over.
> 
> WARNING FOR HOMOPHOBIC LANGUAGE

Ricky made a decision when he skated home that day. He had to tell his parents that he liked boys. He didn’t really know how to start the conversation. Maybe he would tell his dad and then his mom, or maybe he would do it when they were all together.

His mom, Lynne, was supposed to meet him and his dad, Mike, at the restaurant for dinner. He couldn’t remember which restaurant it was, but there were only a few that his family liked. He was really worried that the only reason his mom was back was so she wouldn’t feel so bad about leaving again. She’d been in Chicago a lot lately.

“Dad? You home?” Ricky asked as he walked in the house, skateboard in hand.

Mike popped up from behind the kitchen counter. “Hey, kid. What’s up?”

“Um,” Ricky took in the state of the house and frowned at the amount of stuff on the floor, “what’s going on in here?”

“Well, I started cleaning, because your mom will be staying the night tonight, and then I took a nap, and I just started up again. Don’t you have rehearsal right now?”

“Yeah, but I forgot my script. I’ll be a couple minutes late, but at least I’ll be prepared. Ms. Jenn hates when people aren’t prepared.”

The front door opened again just as Ricky was about to search his room upstairs, and he spun around to see his mom standing right inside the door. “Hey, Mike. Ricky.”

“I thought we were meeting at the restaurant?” Mike asked. He looked worried about something.

 _It’s now or never._ “Actually, this is great!” Ricky ran over to greet his mom with a hug. “I have something to tell you guys real quick.”

The two parents exchanged an odd look and turned back toward Ricky.

“So, it took me a while to figure it out, obviously, since I’m 16 and telling you instead of 12. But I like boys. I think I’m bisexual because I know I loved Nini and liked her romantically. And I find girls attractive. But I’m also starting to find guys attractive, too.”

Lynne took one deep breath and said, “No.”

“What?”

“No. No son of mine is going to be gay.”

“Mom, I don’t have a choice. I like boys.”

“No!” she shouted. Ricky’s heart dropped. “I don’t want some idiot faggot for a son. I always knew there was something wrong with you.” She started to step forward towards Ricky, who tried to move backward. “That’s why I spend so much time in Chicago. I never wanted you! And now that I know you’re a goddamn faggot?” She laughed cruelly. “I’m so glad I never loved you.”

“Lynne,” Mike started, but his voice was small.

“Stay out of it, Mike. Richard, I want you out of this house. You are no longer my son.” She pointed to the door, but Ricky stayed still. He was stunned. Out of all the reactions he expected, this was not one of them. “I told you to get out.”

Ricky stumbled toward the door and made sure to grab his backpack on the way. He stopped right before the door and turned back. “Dad?”

Mike just looked down at his feet and didn’t say anything.

With a hard slam, Ricky shut the door and just stood on the doorstep. He could hear shouting happening inside the house. A few words he could make out were “divorce” “separation” and “faggot”. It wasn’t surprising that they were getting a divorce. Ricky was starting to think that it would be better that way, if he never had to see his mom again.

He went straight to Big Red’s house, just down the street, but he didn’t tell him a thing. He just said his parents were fighting and that he needed to get out. He stayed at Big Red’s for a few hours just playing video games, trying to take his mind off of what just happened. He wasn’t sure he had fully processed it yet.

Somewhere around 10:00, Big Red fell asleep and Ricky just couldn’t. So he left without a word.

Ricky didn’t really know what he was doing when he left Big Red’s house. Part of him wanted to go to Nini’s, because he knew they’d take him in, but the part of him that wanted to be there to see Nini was fading away. He wasn’t quite sure how he was feeling about Nini anymore, but he was leaning toward the “friend” label. And that was good, right? What wasn’t good was that there was a different someone he had his eyes on. EJ.

He was supposed to hate EJ. EJ stole Nini from him. But suddenly EJ was a lot more attractive and appealing to Ricky. He really wasn’t used to being attracted to boys.

Ricky made it to the skate park before he even realized that’s where he was headed. He spent almost an entire hour there, skating nonstop, when he finally let himself take a break and assess the situation. He sat at the top of one of the ramps and ran a hand over his face before the tears started to fall.

My mom doesn’t love me anymore.

“Ricky?”

_Shit._

“Ricky, are you okay?”

He lifted his head just slightly, enough to make sure it was who he thought it was, but not enough for that person to see that he was crying. “EJ?”

“Yeah. Hi.” EJ was standing there, towering over him, looking very uncomfortable. And looking very good. He was wearing his varsity jacket, of course, so it wasn’t anything new, but Ricky still liked it.

“What are you doing here? And why are you talking to me?” Ricky still wouldn’t show his face.

“I’m here with some friends. And you were alone and upset and, despite what you probably think, I don’t hate you.”

“You don’t? I threw a basketball at your face.”

“Yeah, but it was an accident. Sorry I didn’t listen when you were trying to apologize the other day. I was kind of a dick.”

“I deserved it.”

“No. You didn’t.”

Ricky was truly taken aback. He let down his guard for a second, on accident, and EJ’s eyes filled with sympathy.

“Ricky, are you okay?” he said a second time.

While wiping a tear from his cheek, Ricky said, “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine.”

He scoffed. “Gee, thanks.”

“You know what I mean. I mean you look upset, like something’s wrong. Is something wrong?”

“My parents are getting divorced. And, um,” he sniffled, “my mom told me she doesn’t love me.”

EJ’s face fell and he sat down next to Ricky. “I’m sorry. If she doesn’t love you, then she’s not worth your time.”

“But she’s my mom. I can’t really get away from her when she’s in town. I was going to stay at Big Red’s, but I couldn’t fall asleep, and I have no idea why I’m telling you all this.”

“You can stay with me, if you want. I know you hate me and everything, but-”

“You would really let me stay at your house? Do I need to remind you again that I-”

“You hit me with a basketball, yeah. But that doesn’t really matter anymore. You can stay at my place.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Ricky was more than a little nervous when he sat down in EJ’s expensive car. He would never have enough money to buy something like that. He was more than a little worried that spending time with EJ in his house would solidify his feelings for the other boy, and he wasn’t sure he was ready for that realization just yet.

“So how far away do you live?”

“About fifteen minutes from here. It’s not a long drive. But we should probably try to make awkward small talk unless you want to listen to the Be More Chill soundtrack.”

“What’s Be More Chill?”

EJ’s eyes went wide and he turned to Ricky. “You’ve never heard of Be More Chill? Oh my god, it’s the best musical.” Something clicked in EJ’s head. “Wait, that’s right, you’re not a big fan of musicals.”

Ricky became visibly uncomfortable. “Did Nini tell you that?”

“Yeah.”

“How are you and Nini?”

“Fine.” EJ paused. “Can I tell you something?”

“Yeah?”

“I think we’re about to break up.”

Ricky was pretty sure his heart was racing for the exact opposite reason it would’ve been a couple months ago. “Why?”

“We’re just not right for each other. I’m sure you’ll take the first opportunity to get her back, though.” EJ said in a dry tone.

“Actually, I don’t think I will.” Ricky could feel EJ’s eyes on him, but he continued while EJ pulled out of the parking lot. Ricky glanced at the time and noticed it was 10:55 pm, a lot later than he thought. “I think she was right to break up with me, and I shouldn’t push it anymore. Sorry I kind of pushed my way into your relationship. I didn’t really think about how it would affect you.”

“It’s okay. I understand.”

“And I’m sorry I used backhanded comments instead of complimenting you the other day. You didn’t deserve that. You’ve never done anything to me, I was just mad because I felt like you stole my girlfriend. And I don’t know where all this is coming from. It’s probably just because I’m tired and I’ve been crying.”

“How long have you been keeping all this inside?”

“I mean, it’s only been happening for a few weeks, but I haven’t told anyone. Not even Big Red, and I tell him everything.”

“He’s your best friend, right?”

“Yeah. My best friend _was_ Nini, but then I fucked it up. It’s not like Big Red wasn’t my best friend before, but Nini was both my best friend and my girlfriend. And I know that I loved her, I just didn’t know how to say it.”

“Would you say it now if you had the chance?”

“Maybe. But I don’t think I would mean it in the same way. I’ve always loved her, but I don’t think I love her the way I should have while we were together.”

EJ nodded slowly. “Do you think that maybe you guys were meant to be just friends?”

“Yeah. I think so. What about you and Nini? Were you guys meant to be friends?”

“Definitely. I think I’ll break it off with her soon, if she doesn’t do it first, and then I hope we stay as close as we’ve been these past few months.”

Ricky nodded this time. He noticed that they had pulled into a fancy neighborhood and he immediately felt like he was less than EJ again.

“Have you had dinner?”

“What?”

“Dinner. Have you had anything to eat? You missed rehearsal, so you didn’t eat with us afterwards. So I don’t know if you’ve had anything.”

“Oh. Yeah, I had a sandwich at Big Red’s.”

“How long ago was that?”

“It was around 7:00, I think.”

“Are you hungry?”

“Not really.”

“Okay. Tell me if you are, cause I’ve got plenty of food. I don’t mind cooking something, even.”

Ricky blushed a little at the thought of EJ cooking for him. Maybe he wanted that, but maybe it was just the idea of being around EJ more that made his face red.

“We’re here.”


	4. Written In The Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *gasp* and there was oNLy oNE bEd
> 
> that's the basic premise of this chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's song is Pleaser by Wallows.
> 
> Yes, I know Matt's only an inch taller than Josh, but I'm changing it. So let's pretend the height difference is more like four or five inches.
> 
> I switched pov's again btw. And this chapter took forever to write, so I'm sorry. I wanted it to be out quite a few hours ago, but it took me a full day to finish it.

EJ got out of the car first, but it took Ricky a second. He was extremely nervous. Even though he knew nothing could ever happen between him and EJ, it was still nerve wracking to be staying at his house.

“You coming?” EJ asked and opened the passenger door. Ricky nodded and stepped out of the car. He followed EJ inside and couldn’t help but stare at the expensive-looking furniture around him. It wasn’t exactly ornate, but it was spotless, and the couch looked like it was made of velvet.

Ricky didn’t say anything else until they had climbed the stairs and walked into EJ’s room. It looked like the typical teenager’s room. There were posters covering the walls, but of course they were musical posters, the laptop on the desk was covered in stickers that looked related to water polo, which made sense, and the bed was covered in throw blankets.

“Your room’s nice.”

“Thanks. My parents don’t like that I put up so many posters, but I somehow managed to get away with it.” EJ walked around to the far side of his room and set his backpack down. “You can put your stuff over here if you want.”

Ricky did just that, but then he had no idea what to do next.

“Do you need clothes to sleep in, or-”

Ricky glanced down at his sweatpants and sweatshirt. “No, I’m, uh, I’m okay. But thank you.”

“Okay. Obviously you can have the bed. I’ll just take the couch downstairs.” EJ shuffled his feet and Ricky could’ve sworn he looked nervous too.

“No, that’s okay. It’s your house, I’ll take the couch.”

“No way.”

EJ’s firm tone told Ricky there was no room for argument. “Fine. Can you at least stay in here with me?” Ricky’s voice got quieter and quieter as he kept talking. “It’s stupid, but I don’t really want to be all by myself.”

“Of course I’ll stay with you. Unfortunately, I don’t have a sleeping bag or anything.” He paused before stumbling through the next sentence. “So we’ll have to both sleep in my bed.”

Ricky was 99% sure his heart stopped for a second. He still wasn’t sure if he was just physically attracted to EJ or if it was a legitimate “I want you to be my boyfriend” deal, but he was pretty sure he would get absolutely no sleep if EJ was just inches away from him. Or closer. He glanced over at the bed again and noticed it was smaller than a queen-sized but wasn’t exactly a twin. They would definitely be very close to each other.

“Okay. If you don’t mind, I don’t mind.”

EJ smiled softly at Ricky before walking back across the room. “I’m gonna go change and get ready. And, uh, I have an extra toothbrush and stuff, so obviously you can use those. Are you sure you don’t want anything to eat?”

Ricky shook his head and stared at the rug on the floor below him. He smiled a little when he realized it was a fluffy rug on top of an old grey carpet. _Cute._ He watched EJ walk out of the room and back into the hallway, and he was left by himself to do nothing but take a better look around.

He recognized one or two of the posters on the wall. He remembered Nini telling him about Wicked and Moulin Rouge, but he didn’t recognize something called Dear Evan Hansen or Anna Karenina. He didn’t even know how to pronounce that one. After a moment of looking at each poster individually, his eyes traveled over to the books on EJ’s bookshelf. There were tons of YA novels mixed with poetry books. Ricky was shocked, to say the least. He expected a shelf full of video games, but he was very wrong. It seemed to Ricky that EJ was full of surprises, and he liked that.

When EJ walked back into the room, both boys’ faces went red. Ricky had been caught scanning the books, his finger running across the spines. And EJ was embarrassed that Ricky now knew about his guilty pleasure. Teen romance novels.

“Um, that’s not… Those books aren’t mine.”

Ricky raised one eyebrow. “I don’t believe you.”

EJ blushed harder and stepped into the room. He stalked over to the bookshelf and stood in front of it, putting less than an inch of space between him and Ricky. Because of their height difference, Ricky was staring straight at EJ’s lips.

“Okay, so maybe I read this stuff, but you can’t tell anyone. Alright?”

Ricky nodded slowly while he continued to stare at EJ. but this time he was staring down at his muscles. EJ’s t-shirt was fairly tight on him, and it made his abs extra obvious. The sleeves of his shirt were even tighter around his biceps, and Ricky started to worry that he was drooling. _What is wrong with me?_

“Ricky?”

“Huh?” His head shot up and he almost bumped his forehead against EJ’s nose.

“Are you okay? You seem a little spacey.”

“Yeah. Sorry, it’s just everything that happened today. I’m just still recovering, I guess.” It wasn’t a total lie, but he was fudging the truth just a little.

EJ thought for a second before sighing heavily. “You can totally reject this because you very well might still hate me, but do you want a hug? I know if I were going through something like this, I’d want one. So I’m offering, but you can say no. I don’t really know how you deal with stuff like this. I mean, not that you’ve necessarily dealt with this kind of thing before, but-”

Ricky cut him off by wrapping his arms tight around EJ’s stomach.

**• E J •**

EJ was pretty sure he stopped breathing when he felt Ricky’s arms around him. He had taken a leap of faith when he offered up a hug, and he didn’t think Ricky would take him up on the offer, or hug him this tight. It felt amazing, to say the least.

After taking a second to process what was happening, EJ wrapped his own arms around Ricky and tried his best to make him feel secure. He wasn’t sure exactly what happened between Ricky and his mom, but he knew Ricky needed someone to be there for him in that moment. And he was going to be that person.

He was taken aback slightly when he heard a hiccup come from Ricky, whose face was pressed into his shoulder. He immediately knew that Ricky was crying, but he didn’t want to acknowledge it out of fear that Ricky would pull away and try to cover it up. So instead of saying something, he squeezed Ricky’s torso affectionately and rubbed soft circles on his lower back.

“‘M sorry,” Ricky mumbled through small sobs.

“For what?”

“Crying.”

EJ abruptly separated himself from Ricky. “Don’t apologize. You’ve gone through a lot in the past few hours. You’re allowed to cry, Ricky.”

Ricky wiped a hand across his red, blotchy face and said, “But I got your shirt wet.”

With a quick look down at his shirt, EJ smiled. “So? It’s not like it’ll stain. Plus, even if it did, I don’t like this shirt very much, so it would be okay.” A small little laugh came from Ricky’s mouth and it caused EJ to grin. “You can cry around me, or on me, I don’t care.”

“Thanks.”

The two boys stared into each other’s eyes for a moment before EJ forcibly pulled himself away. “So, I don’t know about you, but I’m absolutely exhausted.”

“Yeah, uh, me too. I’m gonna go brush my teeth.” Ricky pointed to the door and shuffled out of the room.

“Bathroom’s right across the hall, and the extra toothbrushes are in the top left drawer,” EJ called out to the hallway as he sat down on his bed. He was, of course, freaking out internally. He and Ricky had never hugged before, or even held a civil conversation before that night. The whole thing was a bit shocking and sudden, but it wasn’t unwelcome.

EJ felt like maybe this was his chance to get closer to Ricky and eventually ask him out, if he could build up the courage. For now, he was happy with the immense progress he had already made.

“Hey, EJ?”

His head whipped around to see Ricky standing in the doorway again. “Yeah?”

Ricky walked in, sat on the bed next to him, and said, “What does EJ stand for?”

“Ethan James,” he answered without hesitation.

“I can see you being an Ethan, but not a James.”

“Makes sense because I’ve never liked my middle name. I like Ethan, but EJ is what everyone started calling me in middle school, so I guess it’s my name now.”

“Do you like it?”

“Yeah, but sometimes I miss Ethan.”

Ricky pursed his lips and laid back on the bed. “Alright, Ethan.”

EJ smiled and laid back next to him.

**• R I C K Y •**

The two boys fell asleep soon after EJ turned the light off. Ricky was afraid it would take him forever to sleep because he had so much to think about after spending less than an hour with EJ. But he actually fell asleep right away.

When he woke up, EJ was already up and had clearly taken a shower. His hair was still wet, and Ricky could smell the strong citrus body wash from the bed. “What time is it?”

EJ turned around, slightly startled. “Um, it’s like 7:30.”

“Don’t you have, like, water polo stuff or something? I thought you guys practiced in the mornings?”

“Practice was called off for today. Coach is sick, so he gave us a free day, which probably isn’t the smartest idea because a bunch of the guys already texted me and said they’re skipping school today and hanging out at Theo’s.”

“The lobster place?”

“Yeah, they’re about to spend a lot of money.”

Ricky chuckled and sat up. And then it hit him. “Shit, I don’t have any clothes.”

“I already thought of that.” EJ tossed him a shirt, sweatpants, and some underwear. Ricky blushed hard when he realized he’d be wearing EJ’s underwear. As if EJ read his mind, he said, “Don’t worry, I haven’t worn those yet. And you can keep all of that.”

“But this is one of your water polo shirts.”

“It’s from last year, so I don’t really need it anymore.”

“Thank you,” Ricky said, smiling shyly.

EJ just said, “No problem,” and Ricky got up to take a shower.

He managed to turn it on without much difficulty and took a relatively short shower because he didn’t want to waste any of EJ’s time or hot water. He couldn’t help the blush that went from his neck to his nose when he put the clothes on. The pants were a little too big, but they were sweatpants, so it wasn’t a big deal. The shirt, however, was more obviously large on him. It practically enveloped him. His blush grew higher on his face when he realized the shirt had “Caswell” written on the back of it. Everyone at school would know that he spent the night at EJ’s house.

When Ricky walked out of the bathroom, EJ just looked at him for a moment, his ears a little pink, and then he tossed him a pair of socks. “Figured you’d need these, too.”

Ricky thanked him quickly and pulled them on, followed by him slipping his shoes on. EJ led him down the stairs once they had both grabbed their bags and Ricky’s skateboard. He realized as they walked into the kitchen that he hadn’t done any of his homework and he hadn’t seen EJ’s parents in the entire time he’d stayed over.

“So where are your parents?” he asked while EJ grabbed them both some breakfast.

“Oh, um, they’re on a business trip. Like usual,” EJ added as an afterthought. He seemed upset about it.

Ricky just nodded and gratefully took the orange and granola bar that EJ offered him. “So, is this your normal breakfast?” He decided to keep asking questions to steer EJ’s mind away from the sore subject of his parents.

“Yeah. When I was younger, I ate a lot of fattier things, like bacon, or sugary things, like Frosted Mini Wheats. But ever since I got on the water polo team, I stopped eating that stuff and started eating as healthy as possible.”

“So what does that include? Or, I guess, what does it exclude?”

“Well, I don’t eat meat, or byproducts of any animals, so I’m vegan. I don’t eat very much sugar, just chocolate sometimes, and I eat a lot of spicy foods.”

Ricky nodded again. “Cool. Is it easy to become vegan?”

“It was for me, but it’s different for everyone. I became a vegetarian first, and then I started trying more dairy substitutes and it was just a gradual change from there. Why? Are you thinking about going vegan?”

“I don’t know. It’s better for the environment, so I probably should. I’m just worried that if I try to quit eating meat and cheese and stuff, I’ll eventually go back to it, and then I’ll never be able to try again.”

“I understand that. You shouldn’t feel any pressure to do it, though. I did it because it felt right for me, but you don’t have to if it doesn’t feel right for you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Despite what the internet says, most vegans and vegetarians aren’t trying to evangelize meat eaters. If someone wants to stop eating meat, we help them, and if someone doesn’t want to stop eating meat, we leave them alone.”

“Cool.”

EJ smiled at him and picked up his bag from where he had dropped it on the table. He stuffed the granola bar in his pocket and threw the peel from his orange away. “Ready to go?”

“Oh. Yeah, I’ll just hurry up and finish this really quick.”

“You don’t need to. You can eat in the car, I’m not a psycho mom worried about people spilling things on my baby,” EJ said dramatically.

Ricky just laughed and stood up to leave. “Then yeah, I’m ready.”

The drive to East High was pretty quiet. Not in a bad way. They just sat in comfortable silence until they reached the school.


	5. I'm OK, You're OK

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took me so long! I wanted to post chapters about every day, and I haven't been able to do that. Econ is kicking my ass this semester, and my two best friends decided they were better off without me, so I haven't been very focused this week. Hopefully, updates will be more frequent again very soon.
> 
> This chapter's song is Walkin' After Midnight by Patsy Cline.

When Ricky walked into his house, he immediately regretted it. It had only been a couple days since the first incident of his mom shouting at him and his dad not saying a thing. Lynne was apparently staying for longer than he thought, and fortunately, he had managed to avoid her ever since that first night when he wound up staying with EJ.

This time, when he got home, there was nowhere to go, nowhere to hide. He stepped inside and was immediately frustrated by the shouting coming from the kitchen. He tried his best to get to the stairs while his mom wasn’t paying attention, but he wasn’t that lucky.

“Richard! Get back down here!”

As soon as he heard Lynne’s voice, he sprinted up the stairs and to his room. Breathless, he locked the door behind him and backed up against the nearest wall. He could still hear her shouting, but he tried to tune it out. When he heard someone stomp up the stairs, he immediately fumbled for his phone and called the first person on his favorites list.

“C’mon, Red. Pick up,” he muttered, his fingers tapping against the desk next to him.

“Richard!”

Ricky waited for a moment, and then he hung up. He scrolled through his contacts list, finger hovering over Nini’s name briefly, and he settled on EJ’s contact. It rang twice before he heard his friend’s voice and immediately felt comforted.

“Ricky?”

“EJ,” he whispered as quietly as he could, “I hate doing this, but I need your help. I need to get out of my house.”

Ricky heard something clatter on the other end and then EJ said, “I’m on my way.”

“You can’t pull up, though. She’ll see you.”

“Who will see me?”

“My mom.”

There was a short pause before EJ spoke again. “Okay. I’ll park a block away and come around the back?”

“Yeah, that’ll work.”

“Text me your address, and I’ll be right there. I’m getting in the car now. Stay safe.”

Ricky smiled just slightly and nodded, knowing EJ couldn’t hear him. He pulled his phone away from his ear, ended the call, and sent the message as quickly as he could. He slumped against the wall, his feet kicking the desk chair in front of him. He frantically turned his ringer off when his phone chimed loudly.

**EJ**  
pack a bag

He furrowed his eyebrows and shot a “Why?” back.

**EJ**  
you’re staying at my house for a couple of days

Ricky tried to ignore his heartbeat picking up at the thought of basically living at EJ’s for a little while. He knew he needed to hurry, so he couldn’t think about that for too long. Jumping up from the floor as silently as he could, he rushed around his room, grabbed everything he thought he might need for up to four days, and stuffed it into a duffel bag. He just wanted to be extra careful.

Only a few minutes had passed when his phone started ringing. EJ’s contact popped up, and Ricky picked up immediately. “That was fast.”

“I’m a little less than a block away, and I’m jogging, so I’ll be right there. Stay on the phone.”

“Okay.”

“Do you have a window in your room?”

“Yeah.”

“How many floors does your house have?”

“Two.”

“And you’re on the second floor?”

“Yeah.”

“Shit. Okay, um, that’s alright, I can make it work.”

“Make what work?”

“Open your window and get ready to throw your bag down.”

Ricky obeyed with a very confused look on his face. He wasn’t completely sure what EJ was about to try, but he was sure it wouldn’t be good. Once his window was open, he could see EJ jogging up to the side of his house. He looked around for a moment before noticing Ricky, who figured he would hang up once he got there, but he stayed on the line.

“Toss your bag down.”

Shaking his head, Ricky threw it at his friend and then grabbed his backpack.

“So, this is going to be difficult, but I think we can do it. You see that tree by your window?”

“No. No way. I’m not climbing down the tree.”

“I’m not asking you to. Just hang onto that branch,” he pointed to a particularly sturdy-looking one, “and I’ll catch you. I promise.”

Ricky felt his heart do something funny at those words, and he decided that he trusted EJ. With a deep breath, he slipped his phone into the front pocket of his pants, and he started to climb out of the window. His foot slipped, and EJ ran to catch him, but he was able to regain his balance and reach the tree branch. Another deep breath later and Ricky was completely hanging off of the tree. He could feel his face heating up when EJ’s hands suddenly appeared on his skin. His shirt had ridden up and he hadn’t realized it, but now he hated it. He let EJ help him down, but then he hurriedly pulled his shirt all the way down just in case. He was very insecure about his stomach.

“Ready to go?”

Ricky looked back up at EJ, who had the duffel bag slung across his shoulder. “Yeah.” He hadn’t realized how cold it was outside until they started walking and he had the urge to shiver.

“Are you cold?”

“A little, yeah, but I’ll be alright.”

“I’ve got a jacket in the car if you want it,” EJ offered, and Ricky blushed a little.

**• E J •**

As soon as the two boys got into EJ’s car, EJ opened his phone and sent a message to Nini as quick as he could.

**EJ**  
are you cool to break up now?

**Nini**  
sure

**Nini**  
did something happen with you and ricky?

**EJ**  
not yet but it might

**Nini**  
awesome! i’ll tell ash and kourt to spread the word

**EJ**  
thanks

“Is everything okay?”

EJ snapped back to reality and looked over at Ricky like he was caught doing something he shouldn’t have been doing. “Yeah, I was just texting Nini.”

Ricky’s face fell, and EJ’s hopes that Ricky could like him back skyrocketed. “Oh. Is she alright?”

“Yeah. We’ve just been trying to figure out how to tell people that we broke up. Our friends are going to throw a fit.”

“You broke up?”

“Just this morning.”

The smile that spread across Ricky’s face at that statement made EJ smile back. He wasn’t sure if Ricky was still interested in Nini, but he was hoping he wasn’t and that smile was for him instead. He had said he didn’t think he wanted her back, but what if that changed?

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“Nothing to apologize for, we weren’t going to last long anyway.”

Ricky frowned, seemingly in deep thought, and EJ took the moment of silence to start the car and pull out of the neighborhood. After a while, Ricky finally said, “You’re a surprisingly good driver for a seventeen-year-old.”

With a chuckle, EJ said, “Thanks?”

“Well, I mean, most of the people I know can’t drive very well, so it’s a compliment.”

“Yeah? I’m guessing you think you’re a good driver, then.”

“I can’t drive yet.”

“But you’re 16.”

“Yeah, I just don’t like driving. It sucks.”

EJ nodded. “I’ll have to agree with you there. I don’t really like it either, but I hate my family, so I learned how to drive just so I can get away from them.”

“Yikes.”

“Yup. Yikes.”

They spent the rest of the car ride in either comfortable silence or the occasional question and answer. Ricky had put on EJ’s jacket in the car, because he offered, and it was driving EJ crazy. He wanted stuff like this with Ricky to be normal, and not just something that happened when Ricky was having a really hard time. He wanted Ricky to wear his jackets and sweaters, and he wanted to hug and kiss him and hold his hand. He just really wanted to be with Ricky.

EJ parked his car in the driveway right next to an expensive Volkswagen, which was his mom’s. He waited while Ricky got out of the car first and checked his phone one more time.

**Nini**  
okay i told both of them and they’ll share it with everyone tomorrow

**Nini**  
i hope you don’t mind but i said we broke up this morning

He replied with a quick “That’s perfect” and closed his phone again. He stepped out of the car, locked the doors, and followed Ricky up to the front step.

“Are your parents here?”

“Probably. They got home yesterday, and unless they have yet another trip to go on, they should be home for at least a week. Unfortunately.” Ricky looked sympathetic, but EJ didn’t really want sympathy. He wanted better parents.

EJ unlocked the front door and led Ricky inside. He cringed when he heard the downstairs bedroom door shut because it meant that his parents were definitely home and definitely awake. His mom walked out of the bedroom and into the kitchen without noticing her son at all. Ricky and EJ stood still in the doorway while she grabbed multiple items from the refrigerator and pantry, and then left without saying a word.

“Well, she seems nice.”

EJ snorted loudly at Ricky’s obviously sarcastic tone. “Yeah, she’s great. When she’s not here. You haven’t had dinner, have you?”

“No, but I’m not hungry.” All EJ had to do was give him a look, and Ricky amended that statement. “I guess I should at least eat something small, though.”

“How do you feel about copious amounts of junk food? Today’s the cheat day of my diet, so it works perfectly.”

“What kind of junk food do you have?”

“Popcorn, some vegan chips you’ve probably never heard of, dark chocolate, Dr. Pepper, etcetera.”

“That sounds great.”

The two of them gathered as much food as they could carry and rushed up the stairs to EJ’s room. They stashed it all in the middle of the bed and sat down around the pile.

“So,” EJ said as he bit into a piece of dark chocolate, “do you wanna talk about it?”

Ricky immediately shook his head. “No. It’s not important. My mom just sucks, that’s all.”

EJ nodded slowly. He understood that Ricky didn’t want to talk about it, but he also didn’t know how to help if he didn’t know what was wrong. He knew it had something to do with what his mom had said a few nights ago, that she didn’t love him, but he was sure something else was going on. Why would she just say that out of the blue?

**• R I C K Y •**

Ricky had forgotten to turn the volume back up on his phone, so he was shocked when he saw he had three missed calls from Big Red. He hurried to call him back, not wanting to worry his friend any more.

“Dude, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m alright. Sorry I didn’t pick up.”

“You shouldn’t be sorry, I should be. I’m the one who didn’t pick up first. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah. My mom was just being awful again, but after I called you, I tried EJ, and now I’m at his house.”

“Oh? You’re with EJ?”

“Dude, be cool,” he said through his teeth. EJ was looking at him with a confused facial expression, and he knew he was blushing.

“I didn’t say anything. I just think it’s interesting that you’re at your crush’s house again.”

“Stop making a big deal about it, Red. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Bye.”

Big Red laughed and hung up before Ricky had the chance to.

“Sorry,” Ricky said to EJ, “he’s kind of an asshole.”


	6. not an update

i'm really sorry, guys, but i haven't been able to keep up with updating this book. i'm not done with it, and it isn't discontinued, but it's on hold. i've had a lot going on for the past couple of months, and i've been working on this book, but i don't have the next chapter ready and won't for a while. eventually i'll come back to it, but for right now, i need to focus on myself.


	7. done

i’m officially discontinuing this story in light of recent events. i no longer support josh and refuse to write about a homophobe/transphobe’s character. i really liked writing this fic, but now i can’t bring myself to even touch the document anymore.


End file.
